Looking back over my journey of parenthood, I know there were days when I traveled the extra mile for my children. And then, it happened: the attitude. The request for the smallest thing from one of them is met with disdain or bewilderment.
When I challenge myself to give thanks for things that bother me, I envision Christ giving thanks over those insufficient loaves. How many of us would see that paltry little basket and kick a rock in frustration because we can’t feed all our people?
We are all shepherds of a kind, called to tend our own sheep: our families, our parishes, our communities. But it’s exhausting. Don’t we all sometimes just want to take a break from being a steward? So, what if the flock scatters just a little?
In my experience, there are two kinds of people: the folks who kick off their shoes the second they walk through the door, and the ones who don’t. People can feel strongly about this on both sides. This same theory can also apply to our spiritual lives.
There comes a time, or maybe several times, in each of our lives when we become this woman. We’re tired and we’re sick. Is it with sin? With anger? It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, it’s made us weak, and we feel like we’ve run out of options.
God doesn’t desire us to verbalize our needs as a way of keeping us submissive. He’s not that petty. What He desires is the communication — that’s what really counts. That act of opening yourself up, of becoming vulnerable, of relying on Him, trusting Him.
The Body and Blood of Christ — that’s what it’s all about. If it’s not about that, it’s not about anything. If we don’t have the Eucharist, we’re just like the ancient priests, making sacrifices that don’t have the power to redeem anybody.
I hope it’s starting to look like summer where you are. We’ve still got a few weeks left before it’s official, but the school year should be winding up and the birds should be chirping a little louder. But thank God that He doesn’t take a break, even if we do.